Findmeraw

A lot has been changing in my life, and lately I’ve been realizing just how much.

I moved from Wyoming, and I now share a place with two roommates. They both work third shift, so our schedules barely overlap and I rarely see them. Much of the time, it feels like living alone.

That might sound like a simple update. For me, it’s bigger than changing where I sleep at night. It’s another piece of starting over at 55.

Having so much time to myself means quiet. It means independence. It means making my own choices and living with them. After everything I’ve been through, I’m discovering that freedom can feel exciting and a little scary at the same time.

I’ve also got a lot happening. I’m working a stressful customer-service job. I’m getting my first book ready for Amazon KDP. I’m building FindMeRaw. I have Etsy and Printify ideas waiting for their turn. I’m even thinking about getting back into running and taking better care of myself.

For a long time, I could look at all those possibilities and freeze. I called it procrastination. Now I’m beginning to see that some of it was fear of moving forward.

The strange thing about change is that you can want it desperately and still be scared when it finally arrives.

So I’m trying something different: one thing at a time.

I don’t have to publish every book today. I don’t have to turn FindMeRaw into something huge overnight. I don’t have to have Etsy figured out by Tuesday.

I just have to keep moving.

Right now, I’m settling into my new place, building something new, and learning what my life looks like when I’m the one deciding where it goes next.

That’s scary.

It’s also freedom.

And maybe that’s what starting over really looks like.